I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
