my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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