oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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