It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Houston, we have a blender
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
