You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
