who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
