i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
