Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
