I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
