the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
