I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
