Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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