i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
