remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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