and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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