I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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