well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
