Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
