he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize