Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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