Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
