i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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