I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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