brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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