also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize