Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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