do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
