If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
