I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
