The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
