So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize