i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
