Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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