I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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