So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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