You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
