I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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