It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
