I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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