he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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