I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
