Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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