i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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