The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
