She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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