I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
