Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
