I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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