if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
