Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
