We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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