what day is it and did you see me today?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
