I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
