Kareoke will never be a sober sport
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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