doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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