butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
