Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
