It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
