Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
