help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
