Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize