he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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