We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
