then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
