can u get pink eye on your cock?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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