Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
