Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize